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The Big Yellow Book

Seeing the World from Both Oculars-- a Bananaslug's Journal

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Wordplay...it's more than a job, it's a vocation!

MENSA contest definitions

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person whodoesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (vt.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis (n.) medical: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon (n.) valspeak: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.)medical: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.) theological: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

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... be 2005 winners, or else the people running the contest are themselves igoranuses; most of those I've seen around many times before (I remember "Reintarnation" especially from a list tacked up on the door of one of the computer labs in UPitt back in 1992.)

You're right of course, Rykk, but I couldn't resist re-posting it. They are funny, and right on target, too.


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