The Big Yellow Book

Seeing the World from Both Oculars-- a Bananaslug's Journal


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Guns 'n' Spoons
bigbananaslug
bigbananaslug

Guns Kill People Like Spoons Made Rosie O'Donnell Fat.



Or like spoons made me fat, for that matter. The fact is, we are creatures of habit and heredity. Both my grandmothers were diabetic, and so were a number of my aunts and uncles on both sides of the family, that I know about. I was pretty well guaranteed to become diabetic as I got older. The only thing I can say for sure is that my eating habits and my non-exercising habits maybe brought the disease on a few years earlier than if I had been a good little boy and eaten all my vegetables, and left the buttered popcorn alone.

I find it hysterical to watch the Diet and Fat Police running in circles, screaming and shouting, because the AMA published the study that showed that there is no real correlation between a low fat diet and lower incidences of heart disease, cancer, etc. Instead of realizing what the study results mean, and going with it, they are acting like typical little scientists at a time of radical paradigmatic shift (thank you, Stephen Toulmin) and blaming the study results on the participants ("The women didn't diet well enough, or the results would have been right," one professor was quoted as saying yesterday by CBS news).

All of the people in my family on my father's side and on my mother's side, have basically been short, dumpy people with a lot of extra fat. Now, my father's family came from Northern Europe (Scotland and Germany) and my mother's family came from Northern Italy in the Alps. Likely, us short fat folks are able to live in snow and freezing weather better than you tall ectomorphs do...so nyah nyah every winter.

But the fact is, when we come into this world, God issues us a ticket. On the front of the ticket is printed, "Good for one exit." And on the back of the ticket it says, "No other warranty, expressed or implied."

I am a short fat guy. If I wanted to be a short thin guy, I could spend three hours a day exercising, and eat less. Not eat less fat, just eat less. I know this, and I am responsible for myself doing or not doing what I do or don't do.

I don't need the Diet Police to come and tell me I'm being bad. I don't want the Diet Police telling me what I should eat.

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Okay, I'm torn between laughing so hard I've got a stitch, and shouting, "Testify, my brothah!"

Okay, I'm torn between laughing so hard I've got a stitch, and shouting, "Testify, my brothah!" (Or if you prefer, "Me too!")

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